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7:32 p.m. & 2005-11-10

Today was very good.

Until I brought up a subject that I know better than to talk about.

No matter how much I want to talk about it, and hear what he has to say, he doesn't or won't talk about it.

We sometimes talk about it, but we never really talk ABOUT it. We talk about why we, excuse me, I, shouldn't worry.

And it hurts.

I've been trying to be a good girlfriend and to be a pleasent person...But it feels like it's not enough.

I'm so scared to love him as much as I do. I have everything to lose.

And he has nothing to lose...I will gladly drop everything here and move to where ever he goes.


He has so much power over me. He doesn't abuse it and it's not even his choice that he has all the power. I put myself in this position.

But it scares me to love him...I have given him everything I can. He has everything. I am his.

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about me
I'm Jessica. I'm 18, but I feel much older. I'm a boring, boring human being. I enjoy the small things in life. Although you wouldn't always guess it. I'm trying to be happier person.

loves
My dogs. My family. God. Jesus. People. Books. Laughing. Sunsets with good company. Waking up to the smell of rain. Thunderstorms. Africa. My Bicycle. Shopping. Latte Mochas. Donuts. Bread. Chocolate Milk.

hates
I don't really hate much. Just Cheese and Walmart!

playlist
Moby
Alanis Morissette
Three Dog Night
Britney Spears
Beck
Jack Johnson
Blue October
Alana Davis
Titanic Sountrack