A Monster with a good heart

12:01 a.m. & 2005-09-30

Blaine was on the news again...

Sometimes it's still so hard to grasp.

Walter and I were talking about Blaine ( I think I randomly brought up that I missed him at work).

We talked about how strange it was that we still like the man! We miss him! Things happened that should anger both of us...I guess it does anger me a lot and makes me sick to hear it.

And then there's the obvious...

The man molested young boys!!! He could have very well given them sexually transmitted diseases( that was in the paper the other day, and all over the news today...).

Yet despite that, I miss my friend Blaine.

Walter says we still like him because we understand him. We saw his struggle with not wanting to be gay...with drugs, with leaving young boys alone...

He didn't want to be a monster...and I believe he did try to be a good guy with all his heart.

Maybe somethings are just out of reach with out more help than one can get...I don't know.

Either way, I sit here...crying. Feeling overwhelmingly sad, yet there is a feeling of guilt as well.

He did hurt people...hurt them enough to mess up the rest of the their lives.

Just because a man commits an evil act, does that make him an evil person? Does doing something very wrong, completely erase all the good one has done?

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about me
I'm Jessica. I'm 18, but I feel much older. I'm a boring, boring human being. I enjoy the small things in life. Although you wouldn't always guess it. I'm trying to be happier person.

loves
My dogs. My family. God. Jesus. People. Books. Laughing. Sunsets with good company. Waking up to the smell of rain. Thunderstorms. Africa. My Bicycle. Shopping. Latte Mochas. Donuts. Bread. Chocolate Milk.

hates
I don't really hate much. Just Cheese and Walmart!

playlist
Moby
Alanis Morissette
Three Dog Night
Britney Spears
Beck
Jack Johnson
Blue October
Alana Davis
Titanic Sountrack